Yes and it's welcome to all the viewers who've just joined us from Couch Potato Home Shopping channel
We've just been talking to Angie Lee and the Wangs about the new video and title track from their debut album I Thought this was Paradise but Can Somebody Help Me ?
And we now cross live to the Belmont Forum Wobbling Trolley Sweepstakes.
Just a few moments now, waiting for the start of Race 1
The Coles Supermarket Snatch & Grab
Scratchings for the race are Prancing Hotpants Dancer and Wasabi Kamikaze Tailspin
Competitors are lining up at the starting stalls.
Lights are on Trolleys are ready The cash registers ring ..
And they're off and racing!
First out of the gates is My Daddy's got a Porsche followed by TV Dinner with Bargain Basement in hot pursuit.
Next is Mars Bastard, Chocaholic and Feed the Man Meat.
Trailing behind the leading pack is Caffeine Catatonia, Diet Drama and Long Haired Larrikin Layabout.
And last but not least is Nearly Knackered.
As they round the first corner Daddy's Got a Porsche seems to be leaving the race to chat up the young man with the hair gel in the Clavin Klein T shirt.
And it looks like we've lost another one too.
TV Dinner has paused to examine the contents of a box in the frozen food section looking suspiciously like a packet of ah Mc Cain you've done it again Died in the Pool Fish Fingers.
Well they're dropping like flies on the track today!
Feed the Man Meat has just veered off to the left to the spare ribs section, cutting in front of Diet Drama.... and we have a fall!
Diet Drama has divebombed, crashing into the chocolate biscuits.
Help will be arriving as soon as Bargain Basement passes the First Aid section and can locate a packet of Band-Aids for under 69 cents !
Now back to the leaders, Caffeine Catatonia is streaking ahead, making a beeline for the chocolate coated coffee beans.
Chocaholic and Mars Bastard are running at even second.
Looking back in the field Long Haired Larrikin is moving very slowly through the toy section
and appears to be stuffing small items of merchandise into his pockets
And Nearly Knackered has advanced about 1 metre from the starting line.
Well it's a very close race...
Mars Bastard and Chocaholic have now headed to the front ,
leaving Catatonia with the chocolate coffee beans and it's a neck and neck race for the checkouts.
And Mars Bastard takes the lead - yes it's Mars Bastard heading straight for the Mars bars on special at 99 cents
Leaving Chocaholic behind who has stalled in a moment of indecision stuck between the
Dark Chocolate Bounty or King Size Snickers.
Bargain Basement is coming in at a close third with two packets of Band Aids for the price of one
Feed the Man Meat is approaching from a long way back in fourth place slowed down by the extra weight of a portable BBQ and is drifting all over the track.
He appears to be having some trouble after losing his right rear wheel,
and is looking very wobbly there .
Long Haired Larrikin Layabout has been disqualified for jumping the entrance turnstyle in possession of stolen goods
And Daddy's Got a Porsche, Diet Drama and Caffeine Catatonia have all failed to finish,
As has Nearly Knackered who appears to have collapsed 3 metres out from the starting line.
TV Dinner seems to have drifted off the track with apparent visibility problems owing to a pile of frozen dinners a mile high.
And that about wraps it up for Race 1, The Coles Supermarket Snatch & Grab.
Yes some great racing here at Belmont Forum with four finishes out of ten starts.
We'll be back soon with Race 2, the Thursday Late Night Trading Blackout Shoplifting Spectacular, sponsored by Crimestoppers and Neighbourhood Watch.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
A hazy figure stands in a darkened corner of the room
A spectral presence
One step away
Shock runs through your pupil into your mind
You have invited the spirits in
There was a girl in the lake
But not Ophelia
A scarred body in a burnt out car
A man falling from a bridge
Dark shadows descending from above
Closing in on the horse running through your mind
To the misty dreamworld on a verdant hillside
You wake in fright from this night of fitful slumber
And make your way into an unfamiliar garden
It is cool, damp, misty
Through the green fingers and reeds you find a dark pool
In the water a man sits
Eyes closed
Composed in meditation
He has a grey beard
Thick wavy hair down below his shoulders
A dark orange cloth is wrapped around his waist
His rounded belly is bare
His soft dark skin is adorned with beads of condensation
A garland of orange and yellow flowers hangs around his neck
A painted mark daubed on his forehead
His eyes now open
Unflinching
You perceive him as Gilgamesh
But he is your Svengali
He has been waiting for you
You fear his strength
Feel yourself being pulled in
The rich seduction of a spiritual vampire
And you will push yourself through many sleepless nights
Blindly feeling for something you think you know deep inside
That will release you
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