Sunday 14 October 2012

A far-from-usual Day at Sleepy Hollows

Old Sleepy Hollows Retirement Village was a nice place to kick back and take it easy
But there was nothing quite so retiring about old Gerald when he got a bit restless

The cornucopia of pharmaceutical medication provided by the friendly nurses helped the time pass on the slow days,
Even offering some spectacular visions that really spiced things up,

But somehow Gerald wanted something more...

Occasionally over a game of cards in the sitting room Sweet old Esmay Moore's blouse came slightly undone
And revealed her still bountiful curves,
But Viagra was hard to come by
And the chief nurse matron ruled with an iron fist.

What Gerald missed was that shot of adrenaline...

One night watching the television he saw muscular young men riding giant waves on far off tropical islands and it got him thinking.


* * * *

The next morning it was bright and sunny.

After an invigorating jaunt to the park on his gopher Gerald could feel the speed beneath his wheels as he came down the hill back to the village.

The garden features began to rush by faster and faster.

Gerald began to imagine himself on a big blue glassy wave flying down the line over a Hawaiian coral reef.

He hit the entrance ramp with such speed that he became airborne.


He flew towards the front door just missing one of the older retirees as he was ambling out with his walking stick.

Gerald rocketed through the doorway and for a moment he imagined he was a surfing god, screaming through the biggest barrel of his life.

He ploughed into the flower arrangement in the middle of the foyer and came to a crashing halt.

Kowabunga he murmured and fell to the floor, staring at the ceiling with a rapturous grin, then passed out.

Nurse matron Shirley Blackstrap stepped forth, glaring down at him ominously. “Well, no shot of adrenaline for you then old boy!”

Gerald spent the rest of the day recovering.

* * * *

The next day after having had a good rest Gerald was treated to a visit by his enthusiastic and energetic grandson Jared.

Gerald told him all about his wild adventure.

Ohh Grandpa, that sounds hilarious !

You went through the door like it was a wicked barrel!

Haw ! That sounds fully sick !!

Getting shacked in the green room then you got fully nailed !!!

What's that Jared?

A shack? Nails ? Making a shed ?

I don't know what you're talking about !

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