For Elvis and all you wonderful people out there, everywhere
I woke up one night to raid the pantry
But I couldn't get through
'Cos Elvis was there with his big fat arse in the way!
But I couldn't get through
'Cos Elvis was there with his big fat arse in the way!
I said "Yo man, whatch'a doin?" and a deep throaty gargled voice replied:
"Well son, just nibblin' on some o' your peanut butter. Gonna make me 'em deep fried peanut butter 'n banana sandwich.
Say boy, you don't have any fried chicken pickin's in the building? Nope? Don't your momma cook? What kinda momma you got then?
Whassat? You a big boy now and you can take care of yourself, thank you very much? Huh! Well let me tell you somethin'! I'm a big boy too but I still got plenty of room for momma's home cookin'
Say what? The stuff ain't healthy?! Now don't go gettin' idealogical on me boy. Like that dude Malcom X. He said 'Satan don't eat pork.' but I never could figure that one out.
"Well son, just nibblin' on some o' your peanut butter. Gonna make me 'em deep fried peanut butter 'n banana sandwich.
Say boy, you don't have any fried chicken pickin's in the building? Nope? Don't your momma cook? What kinda momma you got then?
Whassat? You a big boy now and you can take care of yourself, thank you very much? Huh! Well let me tell you somethin'! I'm a big boy too but I still got plenty of room for momma's home cookin'
Say what? The stuff ain't healthy?! Now don't go gettin' idealogical on me boy. Like that dude Malcom X. He said 'Satan don't eat pork.' but I never could figure that one out.
Y'know, people think I'm dead, but the truth is I'm on a mission. I'm on a mission to convert all you unbelievers taking my name in vain.
All you scrawny hippy types strung out on mung beans, starving yo' selves.
Hmm.... Shameful.
Hmm.... Shameful.
Guess I'd better spread some of the gospel....
Tell me son, did anyone ever tell you the vegan joke? Nope?
Well y'know what happens when you turn into a vegan?
The first thing is that you lose all the mucous in your system. Mmmm. What a shame.
The second thing is that you start telling other people what they should be eating - y'know, disturbing the faith."
An' the third thing is that you lose your personality.
Huh! Just don't go impersonating me boy!"
And with a rumbling fart he disappeared.
[ A manifestation of The King sometimes performed at spoken word and poetry gatherings. ]
Years ago I had a vision of Elvis wandering along the street beside the shops in Victoria Park, overweight, wearing a slightly old blue cotton T shirt and some jeans, looking as suburban as the average Perth citizen. I can imagine Elvis being possibly one of the most commonly manifested figures in dreams and visions among the western population (along with Jesus), though whether this is true, who knows...?
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